Elephant jokes
December 3rd, 2008
I love elephant jokes, they require a certain weirdness in your sense of humour (and some lateral thinking) but… These are clean ones, I know plenty of riskier ones exist but please don’t send them to me.
- How can you spot an elephant in disguise? He’s the one wearing sunglasses
- How many elephants can you get in a mini*? Four. Two in the front and two in the back
- How do you tell when an elephant has been in your fridge? Footprints in the butter
- How do you tell when two elephants have been in your fridge? Two sets of footprints in the butter
- How do you tell when three elephants have been in your fridge? Three sets of footprints in the butter
- How do you tell when four elephants have been in your fridge? There’s a mini parked outside
- What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence
- Why isn’t it safe to enter the jungle on Tuesdays? That’s elephants do their parachute practice
- Why are crocodiles flat? They entered the jungle on Tuesdays
- What do you get if you cross and elephant and a kangaroo? Dents all over Australia
- How elephants hide in the kitchen? They paint their feet yellow and hide upside down in a bowl of custard
- Have you ever seen an elephant in a bowl of custard? Proves how effective their disguise is
- How many elephants does it take to change a light bulb? None, elephants have no need of light bulbs
- Why are elephants large grey and wrinkly? If they were small round and white they’d be a cue ball
- Why do elephants have big ears? Because Noddy wouldn’t pay the ransom.
- How do elephants get up oak trees? Sit on an acorn and wait for spring
- How do elephants get down from oak trees? Sit on a leaf and wait for autumn
- How do you get an elephant into a matchbox? By taking the matches out first
- What did Tarzan say when he saw elephants coming over the hill? Look, the elephants are coming over the hill.
- What did Tarzan say when he elephants wearing sunglasses coming over the hill? Nothing, they were in disguise.
- What do you do when a herd of elephants is charging towards you? Make a trunk call and reverse the charges
- What’s grey and has four legs? An elephant (have you been paying attention?)
- What’s NOT grey and doesn’t have four legs? No elephants
- What’s grey, has four legs and a trunk? A mouse going on holiday
- What’s the simplest way to sculpt and elephant out of marble? You get a big block of marble and chip away everything that doesn’t resemble an elephant
- How do you make elephant stew? Dice one elephant and place in a simmering pot of stock until tender, add sliced rabbit to taste. You can use alternatives to rabbits but note that not everyone likes hare in their stew.
- Why did the elephant cross the road (1)? The chicken had flu.
- Why did the elephant cross the road (2)? His tender bid was lower than the chickens’ one.
- Why did the elephant stay on this side of the road? There were cars coming – what do you think he is stupid?
- Why do elephants paint their toenails green? So they can hide in apple trees
- Why can you hear screams from the orchard? The giraffes are eating the apples.
- How do you catch an elephant? By using elephant paper
- How do you lure an elephant? Hide in a bush and makes noises like a peanut
- How do you worry an elephant? Tell it that you’re the bait.
- Why do hippos swim in lakes? I don’t care, these are elephant jokes!
- Why have elephants got trunks? Because they don’t like swimming in the nude
- Why have elephants got big ears? Because Noddy won’t pay the ransom
June 1st, 2009 at 8:27
The custard-related ones made me laugh out loud – nice one
February 8th, 2010 at 13:35
A pal recommended me to check out this page, great post, fanstatic read… keep up the good work!