Crimperman.org

I’ve been commuting for more years than I care to remember and since 2005 this has been by motorbike. I work in London and travel around 135 miles per week on London’s roads. Recently there have been far too many accidents not involving me but involving cyclists. Some of them have been quite horrific to consider and in almost all the ones I heard of the “fault” could be laid at the feet of the vehicle driver. However cyclists are not innocent and could do more to look after themselves. How do I know this? Because I see them every day taking risks that quite frankly seem reckless to me. Most commuting cyclists will know the safety advice stuff so I’m not going to go over it here. What I will do though is point out some observations I think that many cyclists either don’t consider or think are low risk. Remember I’m not trying to have a go here, I’m genuinely trying to stop so many of you getting hurt.

Red lights

Yeah yeah I know the reasons you jump red lights and understand it (up to a point). Once you’ve got a head of steam up the last thing you want to do is stop and start all over again. That said: please take the opportunity to look for other cyclists jumping the lights the other way. Also think about pedestrians. I’ve seen a few cycle-on-cycle smashes where both flew across the lights without looking. Yes the law says you must stop and yes a lot of you won’t but if you are not going to stop then at least look and be prepared to slow down or take evasive action.

Two hands on the handlebars

Okay so you use one hand when signalling (you do signal don’t you?) but sometimes it seems like many of you are flapping rather than signalling. Practise riding with one hand – seriously. A car/van/whatever will happily pull to close alongside your right flank and if you wobble while signalling it’s your life and their paintwork. Aside from this there are some – what seem – obvious things not to do while cycling on a busy road:

• Texting, or browsing on your phone
• Holding an umbrella (no really I’ve seen it)
• Opening a packet of sweets/cigarettes and my particular favourite
• Pulling a wedgie out the crack in your bum

I’ve seen all of these more than once and most times the cyclist is all over the place while doing it.

Visibility

Which of these three did you see first? Photo by tejvanhotos CC:By

Yeah I know it looks awful but hi-vis gear will save your life. Look at the photo and tell me which one you saw first. For car drivers that’s the one you focus on. I’ve seen near misses where a car has pulled round a hi-vis cyclist and “not seen” the low-vis one beside them. Yes the car driver should look but let’s be honest in traffic they don’t look so you have to make yourself obvious. While we’re at it you know those flashing lights you have? Use them. In the day time too. Any kind of flashing light immediately grabs your attention. Most modern motorbikes have their lights always on regardless of time of day for the same reason. Again I’ve often seen a flashing light way before I see the bike behind it – particularly in mirrors.

Pedestrians

You know what they’ll do, you know they’ll do it without looking. They are you without wheels. Most of ‘em have music playing, many will be texting while they walk and will therefore miss the fact that the pavemnet is about to run out. Last week I saw a pedestrian step off a curb into a passing cyclist who swerved and was narrowly missed by a car overtaking him. Use your bell/horn/mouth/whatever and let them know you are there.

Indicators and blindspots

You know about not undertaking lorries but honestly the same danger exists if you overtake a lorry when he’s turning right. Actually every motor vehicle has blindspots and you are pretty tiny. In the past two weeks I have had near misses with cyclists who thought they could whip the inside of me while I was turning left (indicator going). Scared the crap out of me to be frank and I don’t thinkl they enjoyed it either. One of them even had the cheek to tell me my indicator was on (5ft from a corner, why do you think it was on?). Look no matter how much right of way you have, bigger vehicles don’t look as much as they should (particularly on the nearside). Motorcyclists don’t either but they do look more than cars (it’s our lives too) and in my experience cyclists rarely look. If you see a hand or an indicator please don’t try to beat the corner. Better to stop than get hurt.

Ride defensively

I know this all sounds like I’m some perfect rider who hates cars and bicycles but honestly: I just want to see less blood on the road and I am sure that car and van drivers would sooner not hit you. The point I’m making is that years of motorcycle commuting has taught me that people make mistakes. Sometimes they forget to look or they do something rash because they’re in a hurry or stressed or whatever. It doesn’t matter why or even that I may have right of way: if they hit me I’m dead. Maybe not dead but every accident has that possibility. My old biking instructor once said that riding defensively was “letting the other guy win because in a few minutes he’ll be stuck in a queue and you’ll sail past him. Last thing you need is an angry person behind a wheel”. Seems to make sense to me. I also wear a lot of protective gear, more than cyclists. So for you guys it’s even more dangerous, unless you look out for yourselves a bit more. I know it’s a drag at times but safe and defensive riding will keep you alive and hoepfully I won’t be arriving at work with yet another tale of how a cyclist almost (or actually) bought it.

Recently a phrase I hadn’t heard for a while has popped into my “life stream” again. (By which I mean I’ve heard it a few times recently). It is “the wisdom of the crowd” and it refers (usually) to the way that online forums and social media allows many people to share “wisdom”. Often this will be where one person can ask a question and get several answers with the best one normally floating to the top via some kind of peer review. This review will be a function of the interface or quite often just indicated by contributors saying “I agree with them”.

But are crowds really all that wise?

You can buy these posters from Despair.com

There has existed for some time a series of de-motivator posters which are intended to be a humourous counter to the often cheesy motivation posters that once (and maybe still) adorned office walls. One of my favourites is the one to the right. The caption reads “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups”. Sometimes the wisdom of the crowd is not only found to be lacking but that lack is amplified by being within a crowd. A good example of this, as others have said, is the Facebook cartoon picture chain.

Someone – nobody knows who but best guess is that it started in Greece in November – started a chain by suggesting everyone on Facebook change their profile picture to a cartoon character from their childhood. Not only was this bringing a warm glow of nostalgia to Facebook but – the chain said – it was supporting the NSPCC in its campaign against child abuse. Of course the problem was that not only did NSPCC have no idea about this but that simply changing your picture in no way supported their cause. Many, including myself, advocated also donating to NSPCC. And yet the “wisdom of the crowd” meant that people were copying the status text verbatim and changing their picture without stopping to think if or how this was going to help stop child abuse.

Skip forward a few days and a second chain began going around. This one decried the first chain claiming that the people behind it were in fact a paedophile ring and that this was confirmed on “Tonight’s news”. No link or reference was given to the news item or even which night it was on. And yet again the “wisdom of the crowd” meant people began copying this new status verbatim and swiftly removing their cartoon profile pictures. Once it gained enough traction it was picked up by the Daily Mail and the circle was complete.

So I ask again are crowds all that wise?

All is not lost

To be honest that’s a rhetorical question. The answer is to be found just a day or so later. Despairing as others have at the speed at which particularly the latter chain propagated I was pleasantly surprised to see a number of comments appearing against the “it’s all run by paedophiles” status updates. Suddenly people were asking pertinent questions: “Which news program was this on?”, “Did you actually see it?” for example. Others suggested using well known hoax websites such as Snopes.com. Others highlighted the tell-tale signs that both of the chains were probably not founded on any real truth. Slowly, much slower than the original chains though, the wisdom of the crowd is percolating through.

So it seems the crowd can be wise if you give it time. Perhaps the issue is how fast we expect the online — and thus the offline — world to move these days. Instant updates on our mobiles, feeds to our laptop, netbooks, desktops and tablets all drive us towards a dangerous tendency to knee jerk reactions. Even those of us who would consider ourselves above falling for such urban legends could still do with applying some patience before we fly off on a rant about other well-meaning souls. I lose track of how often I have seen (and sometimes joined in) the ridiculing of Facebook users by those on Twitter. And yet Twitter has it’s own variety of such chains. Every now and then you’ll see a flurry of auto tweets from some wunder-app which promises convenience and delivers annoyance. “I’ve found the greatest…” the tweets start and sometime later are followed by “Remove that app – it’s a spambot” or similar.

The truth is that crowds — like the people they consist of — have both wisdom and foolishness, common sense and little sense and can be incredibly annoying and uplifting. Often these things occur shortly after each other or even simultaneously. People, whether on their own or in a crowd are remarkable things and the world is frequently both better off and worse off for having them in it. “People” is also a term that includes me, in all my stupidity and (somewhat rarer) wisdom. I would like to apologise to anyone I have upset or offended with any outburst or ill-thought out flippant remark. I should remember that I everyone is still learning (and that includes me) and that my time would be better spent trying to help rather than ranting.

So here’s the idea: why don’t we all start taking a moment to wait, reflect and consider before posting any tweet, facebook status update, blog post or even opening our mouths. For the Christians among us it is worth noting that patience is a fruit of the Spirit. Wisdom is not in that list.

Yes really! After what is too long a wait I have finally added a new Noah & Sons cartoon. Hopefully this will be the first of many as i get back in the saddle as they say. Click the thumb on the right for the full image.

Like the others this cartoon is covered by a CC:By-NC-SA licence so feel free to include it in your non-profit newsletters and websites (Download link). The full Noah & Sons collection can be found here.

Twitter - no longer the place to make jokes that could be taken the wrong way it seems

What a ridiculous state the UK has become. By now many of you will now of poor Paul Chamber’s plight. Back in Snow-laden January he tweeted a message which read

“Crap! Robin Hood Airport is closed. You’ve got a week and a bit to get your s**t together, otherwise I’m blowing the airport sky high!”

He was arrested, prosecuted, convicted and fined for that. He claims he was joking our of frustration and it would be hard not to realise that he didn’t really mean to act upon it. The police officers involved branded the tweet a “foolish comment posted on Twitter as a joke for only his close friends to see”. But yesterday not only did Paul lose his appeal against the conviction but his costs were raised to over £2000. The judge felt that given the current climate in the UK, the tweet could be taken as a real threat. Well clearly it wasn’t by the police but he was prosecuted anyway. Surely if ever there was a case for somebody to be rapped on the knuckles, apologise and not do it again, this was it.

Coincidentally another debacle unfolded on Twitter on the same day as Chambers lost his appeal. In a BBC Radio interview Yasmin Alibhai-Brown, a muslim writer, said that she felt it hypocritical for British politicians to lecture countries like Iran on human rights issues such as stoning given the Iraq war and the treatment of prisoners by British soldiers. Gavin Compton , a local government councillor in Birmingham then tweeted

; “Can someone please stone Yasmin Alibhai-Brown to death. I shan’t tell Amnesty if you don’t. It would be a blessing, really.”

Following complaints he was then arrested and like Paul Chambers he claims it was a joke.

Much has been made of these two tweets and the similarity between the two cases. Whilst I would say it seems likely that neither person wanted the action they described to happen I would say that the major difference between them is that Paul Chambers’ “threat” was that he himself would carry it out. Gavin Compton was asking for somebody else to carry it out. Again I will say that I don’t believe either of them actually wanted the result they were speaking of but it does strike me that Mr Compton, a councillor and a barrister, should have known a lot better. Maybe Mr Chambers should have too but given the publicity over that case and the fact that Gavin Compton was writing about a single person it does strike me as odd that it did not occur to Compton that it could lead to his arrest. Personally I think they are both not to be taken seriously and that is obvious but of the two it seems to me that Compton’s is the more likely to cause harm because another person of questionable political leanings and perhaps somewhat less stable could carry out what appears to be a request.

The real problem is that now that Chambers has been convicted and his appeal has been turned down, the UK justice system has set a precedent. Whereas Compton might have been able to confess to lack of forethought and got away with some public berating, now he must be prosecuted if only on the grounds that taken out of context his tweet has the greater threat level to life. It’s extremely sad that what could be perceived as a terrorist act and a death threat respectively could not have been given greater thought before posting. But it is ridiculous that this is the kind of timewasting nonsense that makes it to a courtroom. In both cases it’s likely an example either is or will be made of the “perpetrator” but I have to ask: was one required at all?

This was sent to me by e-mail. I don’t often pass e-mail jokes on but this one made me laugh – I hope you like it.

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium.

She said, “I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.”

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.

“Tom was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every move caused him terrible pain.” We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom’s scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.

“Now,” she announced in a quivering voice, “thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”

All the men sighed with unified relief.

The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, “I’m Tom Smith.” The entire congregation held its breath. “I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum.”

Would you begrudge adding this to a £30 meal to help someone?

This weekend we had a meal at a local restaurant. It’s part of a chain and to be honest the chain is irrelevant. We had a good time and enjoyed the food. When it came to pay the bill they added a 10p donation to the World Food Program‘s World Hunger Campaign. We had no objection and happily paid the bill.

It got us thinking though. What if all restaurant meals had this? What if every restaurant meal over a certain threshold (let’s say £3) had an automatic “tax” of 10p? Not 10% just 10p? How much would this raise? According to one industry site, about 148 million restaurant meals were eaten in the UK last year. This does not include take-aways but if the “tax” I suggest included them I guess we would be looking at it raising around £25million per annum. I’m not an expert but that’s a lot of money.

Now what if this were used to fund something like the WFP or maybe even fund free school dinners for more children in the UK? We’re told that the average cost for a school dinner is about £1.50. Families on benefits get free school dinners anyway but something like this could help a greater number and raise the threshold so those who are just above the benefit threshold (but still on very low income) could get some help too. If a child had a free cooked meal at school wouldn’t that help keep the family budget down and thus help raise a lot of families out of poverty? I suspect the answer is yes because otherwise the government wouldn’t already offer free school meals to the poorest families in the UK. Many studies have also shown that eating a nutritious lunch helps with studies and learning.

Okay so I guess a lot of financial and sociological experts will pick holes in this idea. I’m also sure there would be a lot of people who would object because they don’t have children or they should be able to choose to whom, when, how much and even if they donate. I still think it would be worth looking into and could be acceptable to many because a) it’s flat rate – if your meal costs £500 you still pay 10p, b) it’s a paltry amount, c) it’s easy to pay and d) it could make a real difference very quickly.

Recently I bought a Flip UltraHD camcorder and I love it. It’s simple enough for my five year old to use (really I have to prise it off her half the time), compact to not be left at home and it shoots in HD (720p). As it doesn’t have a lamp I thought I’d test it under low light conditions. I’ve uploaded the result to Youtube. The editing was done using kdenlive which is simply brilliant. The sound was good but there was some stuff on it I can’t share so I’ve overdubbed it with a great tune I found on Jamendo. Kudos to Frozen Silence.

By the way the subject is of course our lovely dog, Fizz.

The HEC website has just been launched

I’d just like to mention that my church (Hainault Evangelical Church) has launched a new website. I’m afraid this post is a little sycophantic as I’m the one who designed and developed the site but I think it has come out rather well. As well as the usual what’s on and finding us sections there’s also the chance to listen to selected sermons and talks (including some from yours truly).

It seems to have been in the planning stage forever so it’s good to get it out there. Please feel free to take a look and let me know what you think.

http://www.hainaultevangelical.org.uk

thanks

A while ago I discovered (through following her on Twitter) the excellent Rev’d Lesley’s Blog. As is my usual way I lurked for a while and eventually added a comment or two when I felt there was a something I could add to the conversation. Recently some of Lesley’s posts have got me thinking – which is I am sure either her intention of at the very least wish.

The topic of both has been interaction with others. Particularly the reasons behind people not saying something if they feel there is something “different” about you. This might be (as in Lesley’s case) because of an experience you have had or pain you have endured. Often these situations leave both sides feeling awkward and silence ensues so people can often be put off saying anything even if they have the best of intentions. As I said in a comment on Lesley’s blog:

The reaction from the other mothers was tangible. Ranging from shock to fear (will this happen to me) to relief (glad that it hasn’t) and then obvious guilt and awkwardness. That guilt and awkwardness was also found in us. We didn’t want to be the ones who caused others to feel so awkward. Nobody knew how to react around us and this made it all the worse. Such things tend to cause those awkward and prolonged silences and I wonder whether “Society” also prefers not to know because they just don’t know how to react.

I’m not going to reiterate the points made there over here but the issue at hand is interesting. Why do we react this way to people? How do we get into these situations where the “victim” frequently would appreciate a helpful voice (or better, ear) but those who are available to lend it are put off by a combination of their own fear and that of the “victim”? We hear often that those who suffer should not do so in silence and – particularly if we are Christians – we should be looking for ways to support each other. I did wonder if this is a peculiarly British thing, along with not talking on the London Underground or in Gents toilets? From friends I have outside the UK I am assured it is not. It seems that awkward silences occur in many nations and many situations.

Perhaps the only way to avoid them is to break them. Perhaps we who are on the receiving end of the 100th “helpful word of encouragement” would be advised to remember that it’s the first one from that person. perhaps those of us who are giving out the encouraging words would do well to remember what one of my teachers once said “You have two ears and one mouth because you are supposed to listen twice as much as you talk” or – for us Christians – also remember how Jesus frequently approached those in need with a simple “What do you want?” or “How can I help?” as we might phrase it today.

I recall when my grandfather died that a colleague was the only one who approached me to ask how I was. When I said it was tough going but I was doing okay she told me that she had wrestled with saying anything at all and in the end it was her Dad who advised her “What would you have him do if the situation was reversed?”. That’s good advice and it reminds me of some similar advice given a long time ago but still relevant:

“Do for others what you would like them to do for you. This is a summary of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 7:12 NLT)

My father would hand-pump air into one of these to keep his baby brother alive

There was quite a bit of stuff on TV over the weekend regarding the 70th anniversary of the Battle of Britain. Included in any tale of the Battle of Britain will always be The Blitz and these were no different.

Watching these programmes reminded me of my father. Growing up in Islington (which was not the trendy place it is now) he was 5 when Britain declared war on Germany. By 6 he had been evacuated to Whitney in Oxfordshire where he stayed on a farm but – like many – found his hosts not to be as warm as his own parents. In 1941 my grandmother gave birth to my twin uncles so my Dad, aged 7 was brought back to London (at the height of the Blitz) to help her. He has told me of his nights sat in an air-raid shelter wearing his “mickey mouse” gas mask and pumping air by hand into one of his baby brother’s gas mask (see image right) while my grandmother did the same with the other one. I have a son about the age he was then and the idea of my boy going through what my dad went through is horrendous.

A while back (I think it may have been during the 60th anniversay of the Blitz) the Imperial War Museum¹ in London had a Blitz exhibition. I accomanpied my Dad hoping he could give me some first-hand references to the displays and features. He did. One of the exhibits was a “Blitz Experience”. You walked into a mock anderson air-raid shelter and then sat there whilst a simulated air-raid took place. The narrative was interesting and to me it looked like they had taken a lot of care over the authenticity. When the “bombs” dropped you could “hear” the planes and “feel” them exploding in the surrounding area as the shelter shook. During much of this time the lights were either out or very low. Thinking the experience was quite good I turned to my Dad for an opinion on just how realistic it was. My Dad was a white as a sheet and staring ahead. I touched his arm and he looked at me with a tear in his eye and simply said “That was a bit too close for comfort”.

At that moment, more than any other I began to appreciate what those who remember the Blitz went through and why they rarely speak of all of it. I imagine it is similar for the pilots of the RAF and all those who served, fought and just lived through those times. Later my Dad would tell me how it brought back memories of the time and of those who went through it with him but are no longer around. At that moment also my respect for my dad grew at an exponential rate and still does.

So here’s to my Dad and the thousands like him who lived through times that I couldn’t possibly imagine living through. They didn’t ask to or want to and I doubt they would want to do it again but they did and had they not: how different would the world be now? While we’re at it here also is to those around the world who live through such times today and here’s hoping we can finally get around to making sure nobody else has to.

¹ If you live in London and have never visited the Imperial War Museum, I recommend it. Far from being a celebration and glorification of military might as the name might suggest it takes a sensitive, respectful and careful look all the aspects of war, the people involved, the tragedy and the reasons behind it. I am yet to go and not come away even more convinced that war must end.