Crimperman.org

I’ve been thinking about heaven again – mostly because because it’s been the subject of recent small house groups at church lately I suppose. Anyway have a look at this verse from Revelation 6:

⁹When the Lamb opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been killed because they were faithful to the word of God and to the message they had received.¹⁰ These souls shouted in a loud voice, “Holy and true Lord, how long until you judge the people of the earth and punish them for killing us?” ¹¹ Then each one of them was given a white robe and was told to wait a short time longer. There were still some of their fellow servants and brothers and sisters in the service of Christ who must be killed as they were. They had to wait until all of this was finished.    ( Revelation 6:9-11 NCV )

The souls under the altar there clearly remember what they had to endure to get to heaven – including the painful stuff. This seems to be in conflict with the concept that all the tears in Heaven will be wiped away, there’ll be no more pain and no hurting. This vision of paradise could be somewhat marred by the thought that in the afterlife we’ll not forget the stuff we had to go through here on earth. Most of use would probably be content with just remembering the happy times wouldn’t we?

Or would we?

It strikes me that we need to remember the pain in order to give some point of reference to the good times. A glorious sunset is made even more glorious when comparing it to a dark grey and dismal drizzle from the day before. Even a simple meal can seem wonderful when it comes after a period of starvation. Similarly wouldn’t the joy of heaven would be made greater by the memory of what was endured on earth. Of course it’s true that such memories could bring anger, bitterness or remorse but we need to also remember that – in the case of the first two at least – such emotions are not heaven. As for the remorse, yes it’s possible that along with the painful memories of what happened to us will be the memories of the times we were less than humane, less than faithful or generally missed the mark when it came to our relationship with God and our fellow humans.

This is where the tear wiping could come into it. It’s also worth remembering that – no matter how hard we find it now – it’s much easier to believe in our forgiveness when we are being told – face to face – by the one who is forgiving us. When the hand that wipes your tears also contains the wounds that heal you, its harder to ignore or forget. Of course many times we are more than able to enjoy that forgiveness here, on earth. Sometimes we all struggle though and I find it comforting to know that it won’t always be that way.

Hope is a wonderful thing – don’t you think?

Recently I had the opportunity to help a fellow Christian blogger. The Church Mouse blog is an award winning – er – blog which has been running for around 9 months.

Like many, I follow “the Mouse” on Twitter. A short while back he tweeted a request for help with redesigning his excellent blog. I responded with an offer of help, the mouse from the vestry said yes and we set to work. The new site was released yesterday and it seems to have gone down well. Although I would like to point out that on the web “content is king”, everything else is window dressing. Still we all like to look through nice windows so…

I’m glad Mouse and his followers like the look of the site. He was kind enough to link here with a few words from his blog so I am happy to repay the compliment (oh aren’t we Christians just so lovely to each other?). So if you are new here: welcome and if not: welcome back.

If you are a Christian and haven’t yet read the Church Mouse Blog I can only recommend you do. If you are a tweeter, it wouldn’t hurt to follow him either.

How this site looks on an Android Phone

This site runs on the excellent WordPress blogging software. As you may know I also use Twitter and have an Android-based phone. Now thanks to Stephen Fry, I (and anybody else out there with an Android phone or iPhone) can read this site in a simpler and quicker loading version from their mobiles.

I’ve just installed and configured (all of say 10 seconds) the excellent WPTouch plugin which I found about through Mr Fry’s tweets. So if you have an iPhone. iTouch or Android-based phone, point your browser at Crimperman.org to see what I mean. If you don’t like the WPTouch look you can switch it off at the bottom of the page in your mobile browser. If you’re just too lazy – or you don’t have a touch phone – there’s a screenshot on the right.

One of the main attractions

During the summer our family visited Suffolk and spent some time doing the tourist bit. We found some great examples of things to do – particularly if you are dragging under 8s around. One shining example was the Oasis Camel Centre.

It’s a bit tricky to find as it’s buried in the heart of Suffolk farm land. That said, there’s a great map on their website which would have been handy had we bothered to prepare this trip before we went on holiday. As the name suggests the main attraction of the place are the camels which are fab. Twice a day there is a meet the camel session during which you can get right up close to one of the magnificent creatures. It being a little harder to get to and not as well known as other Suffolk animal attractions (such as Africa Live) actually works in our favour here as it’s not overly crowded. That said it’s not exactly empty either.

But it’s not just camels, there are llamas, al-pacas and rhea (see below), along with ponies, donkeys, pig and the almost ubiquitous goats, rabbits and peacocks. Add to that the very well kept play areas (including a covered bouncy castle area) and the small but clean and functional cafe and you have a really good out. The entrance prices are reasonable, staff friendly and facilities are good and most importantly the animals are clearly well looked after with plenty of room and you can see they are cared for.

For reference our party consisted of adults in their 30s, 40s and 70s as well as a four and five (sorry nearly six) year old and all of us had a good time. So if you are Suffolk and find yourself wondering what to do, I really recommend the Oasis Camel Centre.

Way back in 2005 (was it really that long ago) I posted a piece on my blog entitled “Christianity that doesn’t spread from the fridge“.

In that I explained how the use of copyright can stifle the spread of worship and faith among churches. I also focused on the ridiculous situation that means the vehicles of worship and relationship that God has inspired his people to create are locked down and used as revenue generators rather than faith-builders. If you read this blog long enough you’ll soon discover I am a fan of freedom and for creative works (including the text and artwork on this site) I encourage the use of Creative Commons licences. My spreading from the fridge piece ended with a rallying cry:

So here’s a wake up call to the Christian publishers, Bible houses, Song composers and authors of today: Think about why you do that work? If it’s for God’s glory and the furtherance of God’s kingdom then are you not restricting the very purpose of that work by restricting the fair usage of it by others? Christianity is about risks – take one with the work you do for him and see if God likes it.

I’m happy to say that I’ve found somebody who has. I’m not for a second claiming that they did because of anything I wrote – I doubt they’ve even heard of me – but when I found the music it blessed me. Yes I know that can be a cheesy phrase, all too often bandied around but in this instance it’s the most accurate description I can use.

Take Me In | live worship | freely download | freely use

Murray Bunton of Australia has produced and made available a live album of great original songs and made them available under a Creative Commons licence. I’m never any good at music reviews so I’m not going to try and explain where these songs fit in the spectrum of Christian music. What I will say is that the songs on this album are of a high quality – in terms of the writing, performance and production.

Murray has also made the recordings, the lyrics  and the guitar chord sheets freely available under the same licence as my artwork: the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share-Alike licence. This means you can use them, copy them, pass them around as much as you like without charge or penalty. You just can’t sell them or use them in a comercial venture. Seems entirely fair to me and I applaud and thank Murray for this step. Others will be greatly encouraged by the music and further still by the decision to allow the works to be freely used in their intended purpose.

If you produce or know of other Christian worship songs under a Creative Commons licence, feel free to post a link as a comment here.

Not as much as some would have us believe it seems.

The blue whale model - 30m long

Recently I visited the Natural History Museum in London with my family. We’ve been before and so this time skipped the long queues for the dinosaur exhibit and went direct to the mammals and particularly the aquatic mammal exhibit. You see I remembered going as a kid and being awed by the sheer size of the full-scale model of a blue whale they have there. I hoped my children would be similarly impressed. My hopes were fulfilled as they stood and gaped at the room-filling model and the real blue whale skeleton next to it.

What then interested me and Mrs C further was the information around the room. They have a skeleton of a sperm whale including a mock up of the spermiceti organs in it’s head. This is what gives the sperm whale its characteristic shape and name. As other aquatic mammals don’t possess this feature we wondered what it might be for. The refreshingly honest answer on the panel was “we don’t know”. It might be to aid buoyancy and swift asc/descendency, it might be used as a kind of weapon during inter-male fights and it might be used to aid echolocation (finding your way around in the dark using sounds) but the scientists just don’t know. Then we moved to the panel about whale communication and we found out that as whales have no vocal chords, the science community is still unclear exactly how they make noises. It’s possible it’s through cavities in their upper head but again the real answer is “we don’t know”. By the time we got to the narwhal exhibit we were looking for the “we don’t know” part. In this case it was the purpose of the spectacular tusk on the male’s head. Could it be for fighting again? Perhaps it’s the aquatic equivalent of the peacock’s tail or the Lion’s mane? Again nobody really knows for sure.

This is all fine and I applaud the honesty in putting a simple “we don’t know” where applicable (if only Christians would do the same instead of spouting off about “why” something happened the way it did) but what bothers me is the way in which science is often reported. Yes this is not the scientists fault but plenty of amateur scientists and media reports often spout scientific theory as fact. I find this concerning. If science can’t determine the role or function of a part of a living creature, why do we so often hear theory about the behaviour and fate of extinct species portrayed as fact? My five-year-old recently told me about the colours, skin and even feathers of certain dinosaur species – basing his statements on what he had seen and read. That’s fine, he is five after all, but what bothers me is the way so many adults will blindly accept the same “evidence” as a basis of their own belief (and that is what it is by the way). Worse, many of those same adults will scoff at those who believe in God as creator because there is “no evidence”.

I appreciate I am getting into dangerous territory here for a Christian….but here’s the thing. I happen to believe in God, I believe he is all powerful and that he created the earth and everything in it. Can I say the exact process through which he did that? No, I wasn’t there and the only account I have to go by is somewhat poetic and was written sometime after the fact by a human trying to express things which are probably way beyond his or my capacity of understanding. Do I believe God is capable of creating the “heavens and the earth” in 6 days? Absolutely. Could he do it by simply speaking? I believe so. Can I prove it? No. Do I know whether it was six periods of 24 hours or (as some recent theories suggest) six longer periods? No I don’t know. Does it matter that much to me? No.

Now some would read the paragraph above and mock me for the holes in it. I know this because others have done so in the past. Yet those that mock, it seems often base their own belief on similar holes. The difference between the two is that I believe God knows the answers and I am happy to accept that right now finding out the scientific process by which a Narwhal came to have a tusk and what it is for is not really going to affect my life greatly nor the lives of any human that I know of. Those promoting the scientific viewpoint (not necessarily the scientific community themselves) seem to imply we should be uneasy with holes in our beliefs.

Perhaps being content to hold less-tightly to the things we don’t understand is part of the contentment in all situations that the apostle Paul wrote of. I don’t know but I do know that I absolutely love the Natural History Museum and the fact that much of it is arranged to promote a theory that I don’t subscribe to doesn’t bother me at all – particularly because it is a theory with at least as many holes and gaps as the belief I hold to of how creation/nature got here. The NHM is a great place, particularly if you have younger children – just get there early and be prepared to queue for some time to to see the dinosaur exhibit.

These were not made by me but mine are pretty similar

Welsh cakes, sometimes called “bakestones” or as my family calls them – “plank-cooks”, are something I’ve anjoyed cooking and eating since I was small. I’ve made them for friends and colleagues to a warm reception. Many have asked for the recipe so here it is. There are lots of welsh cake variations, usually regional. I don’t claim these are the best or easiest they are just the ones that four generations of my family have made.

This makes about 30. Preparation takes around 30 mins. Cooking takes about 45 mins and you need to be there for all of it.

Ingredients

• 1lb/450g Self-raising flour
• ½lb/225g Butter
• 6oz/170g Caster sugar
• 12oz/340g Currants
• 3 Eggs
• drop of milk

Alternatives

• I’ve given both imperial (UK) and metric but in reality I’ve always measured this is imperial so the metric is an approximation.
• You can use Margarine in place of butter but make sure it’s a suitable for baking one (e.g. not Flora light!).
• You can use Sultanas in place of the currants. Raisins will do at a push but can go bitter at the cooking stage.
• I’ve made a sugar-free version (for diabetics) using granular Canderel – use ¾oz/20g in place of all the sugar.

Method

1. Sift the flour ( not strictly required but makes for a smoother mix)
2. Rub the butter into the flour until it is like breadcrumbs
3. Add the fruit and sugar and mix together
4. Add the eggs and mix well
5. Add the milk very gradually while mixing. The consistency you are looking for is like sticky pastry. Not too dry or it will break up when cooking but too sticky will make it hard to roll out.
6. Roll out the mix on a floured surface. Roll it until it is about ¼” / ½ cm thick.
7. Cut into 2½” / 7cm rounds. I use a pastry cutter but my Nan always used the same teacup!
8. Cook on a greased (with butter) smooth griddle or heavy frying pan. They usually take about 30 seconds on each side – until they are brown but not burned. Flip them once and leave to cool.
9. Dust with caster or icing sugar.

Serving

Best served slightly warm with a bit of butter and cup of tea! They are not usually accompanied by jam or cream. if you want that make scones.

Storing

They will keep in an air-tight container for a few days without drying out. You can freeze them when they have cooled properly. Defrost at room temperature and enjoy.

Notes

Don’t be tempted to cook them for too long or they burn. If the inside seems less cooked when you take them off that’s fine. It continues to cook slightly and if you leave them on too long the outside burns and that tastes horrible. My Nan taught me to flip them using my hands (careful though). She said if you could lift them and the underside was stiff they were ready to turn , if they bend too much then you need to leave them a bit.

You can also freeze the dough once it is made and defrost it before cooking but in my experience the best ones are made from fresh dough. In a similar way some recipes recommend chilling the dough for a couple of hours before cooking but that’s not something I was ever taught to do or have tried (habit I guess).

Traditionally they are baked on a smooth griddle – often called a plank or stone. A heavy or thick frying pan will do but some of the more modern frying pans transmit the heat too quickly and the cakes burn. DO NOT use oil on the griddle/pan – instead grease it with butter.

Ever been to one of those church services where the leader makes a statement and the congregation (or those who are familiar with it) respond with another statement? A common one sometime back went like this..

leader: God is good
congregation: All the time!
leader: And all the time..
congergation: God is good!

If you’ve never sat through one, they can be as cheesy as that makes it sound – sometimes they’re not though and that usually depends on how many times you’ve encountered such practices (or perhaps whether you’ve read “The Visitation” by Frank Peretti ) ). Anyway, I digress…

How accurate is that particular meme? Is God good all the time? Well. yes of course he is but does it always feel that way? Try asking that of somebody who is going through a rough time and feels like God is silent. Try asking it of somebody who has encountered something which shakes their very faith to the core – perhaps the unexpected loss of a loved one. Try asking it of someone who is persecuted for their faith by their own family who days earlier showed them love. Try asking it of someone who feels like the walls are caving in and nobody cares. By the way, if you live in a world where Christians don’t feel like that – ever – then I suggest you may want to consider broadening your horizons or paying closer attention to the Christians around you.

In such situations it is quite normal, even (especially?) for Christians, to question the goodness of God. It is also quite usual for the Christians around them to give them the equivalent of “keep your chin up” type advice. Scriptures are quoted, demonic “presence” is prayed against and the “victim’s” apparent “lack of faith” is usually brought up – in a loving way of course. We who are not in those places (at the time) need to remember that such responses are not always as helpful as they seemed in your head. And thos eof us going through such moments, need to remember that sometimes the words which seem lacking in thought have behind them a heart which just wants to help in any way they can – a heart of love. Having recently been in a place where I questioned God’s purpose in my situation, I can testify to how good it was to receive the opposite response from the Christians around me. Encouragement without patronisation, support without even implied finger pointing, walking beside rather than before – all these responses showed me what love is. I was truly blessed by the way my brother’s and sister’s in Christ walked with me through my own personal valley, kept reminding me of the grace of God (through action more than words) and whilst giving me space — never allowed me to slip into a dangerous solitude.

At times when you are questioning your faith; your life and your God, you need people round you who will treat you like it is okay to do so but not permit you to forget why you first had those things. If you are in that place, don’t blame those trying to help – even if they are not actually helping. Look to the heart behind their actions or words and respond to that. If you are not in a valley, try to remember how it felt last time you were and try not to overwhelm the other one with your gestures or advice. Give and be receptive of support to or from the Christians around you or as Jesus commanded us: “Love one another as I have loved you”. Such love reminds us that God is good, all the time.

Occasionally I wander over to bash.org to view the IRC quotes[1]. I found this one in the top 100 and it was too good not to repeat.

# Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
# GarbageStan23: why?
# Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s’mores and all… and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
# Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor’s house was on fire!
# GarbageStan23: oh ****!
# Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
# Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire….
# Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing…

Original quote on bash.org

[1] For those who don’t know, IRC = Internet Relay Chat, so these are quotes from various chat rooms around the Internet.

I’ve been thinking about Heaven a lot lately. Not in a morbid sense you understand but more in terms of wondering about the future.

A common opinion I’ve heard about Heaven (even from Christians) is how it’ll probably be boring, what with everyone sitting on clouds and playing harps. Of course any reasonable study of the Biblical passages referring to the afterlife (for Christians that is) soon reveals a much different picture to the one popularised by Renaissance art. That said there will still be things happening which – from our limited perspective here on Earth – may seem to be a little less than enthralling. For example, once we are in an eternal life, where time exists but just does not have the same effect on us, then we are able to converse for longer. Conversations could well take as long as they need, hours, days, years??? On the face of it – that could seem a boredom-inducing experience. Perhaps we need a new perspective on this though.

For my part, my musings have lead me to the opinion that we won’t be bored in Heaven. The reason for this is because being bored is a somewhat selfish state of mind. We become bored because the person we are listening to, the thing we are involved in or the job we are doing is just not what we want to be doing at that moment. We generally have what we consider to be “better” things to do. Will such selfishness exist in Heaven? I think not. Certainly is Heaven is perfect then such attitudes cannot be present. “Looking out for number one” is counter to the core teachings — and life — of Christ. So without the selfishness that breeds it it’s hard to see how we could find anything in Heaven boring.