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We have a puppy!

Fizz is nine weeks old and is what used to be called a mongrel. She’s what my dad calls a “Heinz 57″. She’s a mutt and we love her. Her dad was a collie of some kind and her mum was part-labrador, part-spaniel, part-pretty-much-every-other-breed I think. She’s very cute and like all puppies she manages to capitalise on it.

As with any puppy, Fizz needs to be house-trained. Being thoroughly modern owners we’ve read “Puppies for dummies” and searched every dog website there is. Most of them seem to be thinly disguised adverts for dog products of some kind. We decided to invest in some “pee pads”. These are the inside of a nappy spread out into a square and they are impregnated with some chemical that allegedly attracts puppies to pee on them. They are the modern equivalent of having newspaper all over the floor. The idea is that they make it easier to train your puppy to go on the pad and then you gradually move the pad closer to the door and eventually outside. This trains the puppy to pee outside.

Dogs can’t read

I know that’s obvious but in our research we forgot that Fizz did not read “Humans for dummies” or browse the many “How to train your new owners” Dog websites. Specifically she did not read the instructions on the packet of pee pads. She didn’t know what they were for nor that they were for her own good. In short she didn’t use them. No, she actually hated them. The wunder-chemical did nothing to attract her to them and whenever we put her on the pad — at the allotted time or when she looked like she was wanting to go — she would sit with that “naughty puppy” look on her face then after half hour of nothing we would let her off and she would pee on the rug. The one time she did “go” on the pad, it was more by fluke than design – we still heaped much praise on her as instructed but it was a one-off. She was getting good at recognising when she needed to go but had no desire to go where we wanted. Such is the way with puppies.

So what could we do? Three days of this had left us with a puppy who was in danger of becoming neurotic about paper on the floor and was still peeing and pooping everywhere else. She seemed to understand this wasn’t the plan but it was like she felt she had no option. We decided to skip the pee pad and starting taking Fizz into the back garden. We had been avoiding this as she hasn’t been vaccinated yet but our garden is enclosed and we have no other dogs.

It worked. From day one Fizz has trotted outside onto the grass and done what comes naturally. within 24 hours she had a regular toilet routine down and she also scratches at the back door to let us know if she needs an interim “leg-stretch”.

And grace..?

So what has any of this to do with grace then? Well when you are standing out in the cold waiting for a puppy to “go wee-wee” you do a lot of thinking. On one of these it occurred to me that the reason there are so many ways to house-train a puppy is because puppies are all different. If they were robotic we could just program their software to act how we want. They’re not robots. they are living things with minds and individuality. The reason this technique worked for us is that it suited Fizz. Other dog owners will experience more success with pee-pads and others still will swear by them (as opposed to at them). Then it occurred to me that humans are like this. We’re fickle, what suits one doesn’t necessarily suit another. It’s long been known that some students thrive in class but are hopeless in exams. Others are the opposite, being able to swot up and regurgitate the relevant facts but not apparently being able to get along in class very well. As someone once said, You are unique – just like everyone else. God knows this. He designed us that way. God seems to like diversity.

As has been often said, he didn’t make us as robots – we have free will. That’s all well and good but it has side effects, not least of which is the one that we could (and do) use our free will to reject the very idea of God altogether. It’s that dangerous game that parents play and none more so than God. The game is that you pour your heart and soul into bringing up your kids and you can at best only hope they won’t reject you and walk away. Most times kids like anyone will respond to a loving upbringing by loving their parents but that love does not always mean they will be what their parents had dreamed. And those with multiple children will know that what works with one child is almost as likely to not work with the next. People, like puppies are diverse. Imagine coming up with a single method of house-training every single puppy which not only works but suits every puppy’s individual needs and desires. It’s almost impossible, that’s why there are so many. If you want another analogy imagine coming up with a fool-proof weight loss programme which would not only work but suit the individual needs of every person who went on it. Again impossible.

Now consider the diversity between two puppies or two children with the same parents. Now project that upwards to the 6 billion people currently on the planet (never mind all the ones who are no longer on it). Imagine trying to come up with a single way to recompense for the diversity of wrong doing and – yes – sin among so many people. Yet God did. In a single act Jesus dealt with the entire range and amount of sin the human race could collectively muster – ever. And yet not one person is dealt with the same. Each person who comes to what we Christians call the “throne of grace” is forgiven completely and finds all their sin, guilt and even shame dealt with once and for ever. Yet each person will leave with a different experience. Each encounters a very personal and real Saviour who reacts and interacts with them in a way that best suits them. In short each encounters grace which sufficient.

That’s why it’s amazing.

This story again involves my niece Hannah, who at the time of these events was nine and a half. Hannah was out on a pre-Christmas shopping trip with her mother (my sister) and was quite looking forward to it as she was going to buy some new shoes. On their way to the store they passed a homeless man who sat by the side of the path, there was nothing out of the ordinary about this man (other than being homeless) but Hannah could not take here eyes of him.

She turned to her mother and asked if there was anything they could do for him, maybe give him some money. Her mother explained that they had only the £10 to buy the shoes with them. Hannah, without further thought, suggested – nay requested they use the money to buy him some food. Her mother told her that there really was no other money and if they broke that £10 there would not be enough for the shoes but Hannah was adamant.

So, accompanied by her mother, Hannah approached the man, dodging the crush of Christmas shoppers all crossing the road to avoid him. She asked if he would like some food, he said yes he would. So they went to a burger bar and bought him some hot food and a hot drink. He was very grateful and, Hannah remarked, he even gave a bit to his dog who probably had eaten as little as he had.

But there’s more to this tale. Further along their trip, they had gone into a newsagents to look at some cards for Christmas and after some time Hannahs mother saw a ten pound note under her foot. Immediately she looked around to see who could have dropped it – there was no-one around save her and Hannah. She looked for an assistant – none to be seen. She had not moved from that spot for a few minutes and she could not remember this money being there before. God had provided. Hannah had her shoe money restored.

Reflection

Okay so we could come up with any number of explanations for the £10 under the foot. She hadn’t noticed it, she should have handed it in, she could have had the money but not realised and then dropped it.

Perhaps we could come up with critcisms or synicism about the homeless guy. “He was probably a fake”, “He should have got a job”, “I bet he earns more than I do”. All excuses to avoid doing the one thing he wanted – help.

But isn’t all that kind of missing the point of the story?

Surely, the real lesson here is the sacrifice Hannah made. She had no idea the money would be restored, she was prepared to go without the new shoes in order to feed that man (and his dog). She did not consider, how or why he came to be there. She gave no thought to his authenticity. She crossed the road in the opposite direction to most others to speak to him. How many people do you think had done that during the day? How many people do you think had helped him? And the real tough one – how many Christians do you suppose had passed him by? Hannah offered help with no thought of compensation. How many times have we done something looking for the “brownie” point or trusting “God will provide”. What if this time He doesn’t? Does that mean next time we don’t either?

In another story involving Hannah I remark that Christ suggests we become like a child in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Perhaps we have more to learn from them than we think.

Hannah was no extra-ordinary nine year old (past tense because she is older now), she is probably the same as most of the ones you know. Try watching them and see what you can learn.

Inspired by a true story.

John sat in a park one day and watched a man training his dog.

The man would throw a stick and the dog would go fetch it and bring it back. As John watched he saw that the dog did not immediately run after the stick but instead waited for the master to say “go” at which he would almost fly after it

“Oh Lord” said John “I wish I had obedience like that”

Then the guy threw the stick and turned to the dog, who was eager to go, and said.. “stay!”. The dog was straining every sinew and muscle in his body to go get that stick but he stayed by his master waiting for what seemed an eternity.

“Oh Lord” said John “to have THAT sort of obedience”

The dog waited and and waited eagerly awaiting the “g” of “go” but until it came he would not move. Then the master finally said “come on boy, lets go home” and walked away from the stick. The dog, without a second glance at the stick, turned and trotted alongside his master, eyes fixed on him, it was as if the dog had completely forgotten the stick even existed.

“Learning anything?” came a voice in John’s heart.

Reflection

The trick in obedience is not just running for the stick but to listen for the command. If the command is “go” we go with all our might but if it is “stay” we must stay with all our might, regardless of the fact that we may “know” what needs to be done.

But when it comes time to leave the stick where the Master has thrown it we must turn, our eyes fixed upon Him, forget the stick and follow our Master.

This is what I term as “letting it go” or “laying it down”

It is the premise of surrendering our will to His, if we truly lay something down it is no longer upon our heart. He may restore it but He may not.

Like Abraham we must walk the road with our eyes lifted to the mountain not gazing upon our potential loss and we must not assume that in laying it down we will have it restored – however we must not assume that we will not have it restored either. To do either would be to fix our eyes upon the stick and not the Master.

Abraham is still known as the “friend of God”. A lyric of one of the songs we sing goes “I’d lay it all down again to hear You say that I’m a friend”. Would we lay it ALL down again? Would any of us lay down our own personal stick.

It may just be that God has something better planned for us that does not include that stick. It may that God has something better planned for us that does include it.

In either case the key is His plan, not the stick. His way is perfect, the goal of the prize of the upward call must be strived for but strived for in Christ Jesus. It is not just the call which is in Christ but the “pressing on” must also be in Him.

Our hope is eternal for Jesus has laid Himself down that we may be restored to life. Just as Abraham received Isaac back “from the dead” because of the Lords provision of the sacrifice, so Our Father in heaven will receive us back from the dead through the sacrifice of Jesus.

In remembering all this we should not forget the words of Jesus “If you love me then you will obey my commands” If we wish to be obedient to the Masters commands then just like the dog we must keep our attention on the Master and on Him alone. Oh and if you’re worried about how we can care for those around us with our eyes only on Jesus then take comfort from the fact that Jesus himself has his eyes fixed only on the Father and he managed to care for others pretty well.

Pilate asked them, “What should I do with Jesus who is called the Messiah?” Matt. 27:22

Pontius Pilate said it first but it applies to each of us today

Pilate washed his hands of Jesus (Matt 27:24). Have you done the same?
Have you decided that you don’t need Him and dismissed your one true hope?
Have you called Him Christ and then put Him aside to continue your life the way you wanted?

Maybe you’re “not ready” to answer this question.
That’s okay the question will stay right there until it is answered.
But when would you rather answer it… now when it applies to the future or at the end when it applies to the past?

This may not apply to you because you love Him dearly.
He said “If you love me then obey me” – so do you really love Him?
Can you apply Galatians 2:20 to your life and not fall short of it?
(By the way don’t think because I am writing this that I escape it – I fall as short as anyone does!)

What shall I do with Jesus?

Examine your life now.
One day we shall all stand alone before the throne of Almighty God and how we answered this question daily will be remembered.
What will happen then?
Will it be said that we responded with joy and thankfulness when He sent some dear soul to tell us about Him ?
Will we be able to freely and humbly admit that we served Him with all we have?
Will it be shown that as He was not ashamed to wear our sins as wounds we were not ashamed to wear Him on our sleeves?
Will it be noted that we turned our lives around and gave up everything to seek only to serve and love Him each day?
Or will it be said that we scoffed and ridiculed His servant when all they were doing was showing His love for us?
Will we hang our heads as we admit that we were too embarassed to admit we loved Him?
Will it be shown that we were too ashamed of the gospel to ignore the ridicule and risk of rejection and witness to others about that love.
Will it be noted that we worshipped and prayed on Sundays but filled our lives with things we knew would distract our lives from serving Him.

What shall I do with Jesus?

If you have not made Him your personal Lord & Saviour ask yourself this..

How many chances do you think you will get?
If you died tonight where would you go?
Don’t care?…well you should. Why does an embryo grow limbs if there is no life after the womb?
You can’t think or theorise your way out of hell – it’s real and in hell there is no second chance.

What shall I do with Jesus?

If He is your saviour then ask yourself this…
If He took you home now, how would your service of Jesus read? “Full of action through faith” or “Full of intention and waste”?
Have you today done all that you can for Him?
Sounds harsh? Well how harsh will it sound when He says “I never knew you”?

What shall I do with Jesus?

It’s time to answer…

Many (usually married) people say being single is a “blessing” and others say that you should “enjoy it while it lasts”. Whilst I appreciate the good intent in these words, to the single person they are often not helpful and can often compound the problem further. Worst still are the times married people will say to a single person “you don’t know how lucky you are” (usually after a row with their partner).

For the single person, just being single can be the hardest thing – all around you there are couples, society is geared for them.

So what do we do – grin and bear it? Live in eternal hope? Pretend it doesn’t matter? Join singles groups? Actually the last one doesn’t hurt but it is not the answer. I was called to be single and it lasted for six years. By called I mean that I felt that God definitely wanted me to be single. After six years, I was felt the Lord was calling me out of single-ness and into marriage. Everything seemed to point to it and the confirmations were there from external sources. My hopes were high, I was using terms like “out of the desert” a lot.

My “fiancée” felt the same way but didn’t live near me so much of our communication was done by phone and e-mail. Four days before I was due to go and visit her I lost contact. I was in a panic but when I got through to her she said that she felt the Lord was saying it was “all wrong” (see footnote). This was why she had been out of contact, she was trying to find a way to tell me. End result – she called it all off and the only “answer” I had here was a big exclamation mark over my head with my mouth wide open.

I was devastated. My sister and her family generously offered me a space on their holiday. Married people take note, sometimes single people want to be included so lets have no more of this leaving them out of dinner parties because you’re afraid they’ll feel like a gooseberry!. Anyway, after my holiday I felt a little better (see touching a heart for more on this) and did some soul searching.

I realised , slowly that I had built my life around (if you’ll excuse the pun) a solitary question “Am I supposed to be single?” It became a real burden for me. I realised I had fallen in love with the ideal of being a husband – everyone said I’d make a good one, so there you go!

But I was wrong, I got it wrong. How did I get it sooo wrong!!!

The anger was coming,

“why me!”

I could feel it’s familiarity

“Why can’t I just have one shot at this!”

It grew as I fed it

“WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE ONE WHO IS SINGLE!!!!” I almost shouted to the Lord.

Then He answered, very, very quietly answered.

I was watching a Christian video. The pastor was speaking about holiness. Yeah, yeah heard it – next message please. But God wanted me to hear something else. A solitary phrase.

The pastor on the tape looked right (I mean real close up) into the camera and said “you people at home – when was the last time you lived your life for God and not yourself!”

Wham! – cue the fish impressions and the exclamation mark.

Later (much later) I got back to thinking about this…

“That’s it?”- I mumbled through a quivering lip “But what about being single?” I asked the Lord

Silence

“Okaaay, what about being married?”

the silence continued

then quietly I asked myself “but what about the way I am living my life?”

If you can hear God smile, I heard it.

Then it came – it was like a new dawn – it came slowly, but it came. I had based my life on the wrong question – “single or not?” it should have been “holy or not?” ….. I had to get my life right.

I thought the day we “broke up” was the worst day of my recent life but I realised the worst day I could possibly have was to stand before the throne of God Almighty and watch Him cry as He said “what did you do for Me?” and all I could answer was “er…um… well you see, I was kinda dealing with this issue of being single…”.

Reflection

So I guess what I am saying is that I had a choice, I could aim for an answer to my question or get down to work so that I could see as well as hear that smile on the face of God.

Would I rather give up everything to become a husband or part of The Bride of Christ?

So have I given up on being married? Not given up, I have laid it down. In the end it would have dragged me down and away from the loving arms of my God. I looked at the options… single, married? There’s a better option… holy.

Better to be holy and single or holy and married that just single or married. So what about you? What’s you’re question? “Is this wrong job?”, “Is this the wrong church?”, “Am I in the wrong marriage?”. I can’t answer those any more than I could answer my own “single or not?” question. God can but he may not choose to. I would suggest that his concerns lie with something rather more dear to his heart in every case… “what about the way you are living your life?”. Jesus said, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness…” all the other answers come later, once we figure out what the real questions are.

Somebody asked me – “so are you supposed to be single or married?” my answer?… “No. I am supposed to be God’s servant” Thinking back I guess that persons facial expression matched Joshua’s when he asked the Captain of the Host, who’s side He was on and got the answer “no” “yeah but a married or single servant?” they said, thinking they had beaten my answer

I thought about it…

“dunno, I think I had better get the serving bit right first don’t you?”

Offered in the love of Christ Ryan

Footnote

I would like to say that my girlfriend at the time was (and still is) a very warm and loving Christian. I know that what she did took real courage and I owe a lot to her for seeing it through. Had she not we could have both ruined our lives. She was right. Therefore I would like to say here that I thank the Lord for her, her inclusion here is for the sake of completeness and not to malign her in anyway – I apologise if it appears otherwise

Update

( Six years later )

Some people have asked what happened regarding my marital status following these events. For those interested It was sometime before I found my thoughts going back to the question of a companion. I believe God took me through a season where He showed me more about myself with respect to this side of things. I met a beautiful woman at a local church. Just under two years later we married on the happiest day of my life.

Funnily enough not because it was what I had always wanted but because I was starting to share my life with someone who loved me so much and whom I loved equally so and for both of us having God at the centre of our lives, together an apart, was paramount.

It is important to say here that I do not think that my reflections above are a “magic formula” to wave over single peoples lives and hey presto they meet they future spouse. I just think I am truly blessed that God used my mess of a life to bring me to a place where I could be ready (well sort of) to be a husband and then introduced me to the perfect partner for me.

I don’t think the relationship I had prior to this one was evil and certainly not the woman involved. I just think it was not meant to be and one reason for that is that God wanted my wife and me to be together. Now that we are I can see why.

What all this means is I can see where I went wrong and I have repented of that. God has shown me where my attitude was way wrong in a lot of areas and I pray those involved will forgive me. I also pray I will have the humility to learn from my errors.

But as for now, I move on. I trust Him to see me through today and do not worry about tomorrow.

So now I am married, I will have to live by my opening statements and remember the sometimes pain and also joy that being single can be. I remain repentant of my prior attitudes to marriage. One thing I have learned is that LIFE is a blessing – not SINGLE or MARRIED life but life itself. Marital status is a part of that life and no matter what that or any other part of it may bring we must remember Who it is that gives life – God must come first. I hope I can now continue my married life in the correct attitude and remain that way. I don’t expect to be perfect, I expect to be imperfect. My wife doesn’t expect me to be perfect, she knows I’m not.

These events fell as I prepared to “celebrate” my 30th birthday. The day happened to fall during my holiday in Devon with my sister, brother in law and niece, Hannah (who was eight at the time).

I was a bit down on the day before my birthday – not at all because of my impending age increase but because I had actually been due to spend my birthday with my girlfriend and we had just broke up.

I was obviously upset although I now see the Lord’s hand in it – but we won’t go delving into that now. Suffice to say I felt pretty rotten as the day that I had so much looked forward to approached.

We were staying in a townhouse on the Devon coast and – true to British Weather standards – it had rained for the first six days of our holiday, in fact it rained so much that much of the area was flooded.

So on the morning of my birthday I awoke to see there were few clouds in the sky – praise God for small mercies, but I was feeling pretty much numb about the whole day. This frustrated me even more as I thought I should have been happy it was my birthday. At this point I heard some footsteps and then a knock at my bedroom door. I said “come in” and it was opened by Hannah who smiled and held up a small envelope and said “Happy Birthday”. I suppose something about my demeanour was transmitted on my face as she seemed to question whether she had said the right thing.

Deciding to put a brave face on it I smiled and held put my hand for the card. She brushed this aside and gave me a huge hug and then ran out the door. I called to her as like most children she normally likes to watch people open cards and gifts but she never came back. So I opened the card muttering something about how I may as well get on with it anyway.

Hannah had handpicked this card, on it was a picture of a little girl drawing a teddy bear, using her own as a model, she was holding her thumb up to the teddy – ‘artist style’. This touched me as I often have spent time with her helping to draw and paint, I am “artistically inclined” (that’s the phrase my sister uses anyway!) and her parents confess to “enjoying it but not being very good at it”. The fact that this was her choice of card here showed me that she treasured those moments as much as I did (her mother had bought her a different one to send me but she refused as she had seen this one in a local shop).

Already my heart was warmer and then I read the neat childs handwriting inside. I later found that she had not allowed her parents to read this, but inside the card was blank save a small “Happy Birthday” and she had written this

To Uncle Ryan I love you very much So much it makes me feel good inside love Hannah xoxox

The message itself was enough to warm my heart and I wondered what I had done to deserve such love. I asked her later in a sort of joking manner why she loved me. She had replied “because you are MY uncle Ryan”. The emphasis on the “my” intrigued me and so (suddenly forgetting my previous gloomy demeanour) I asked her why she had said that way. Her answer was one of the sweetest things I had heard.

In keeping with many of the children at our church Hannah has got into the habit of calling many adults “Uncle” and “Aunt”, especially those she sees quite often – it’s a sort of term of endearment I suppose. Hannah has always referred to me as “MY Uncle Ryan” – I just had never questioned it before. Anyway Hannah’s reason for the “MY” was so that I knew that I was HER uncle Ryan and that although other kids called me that and that she has other uncles, I was, to her, a “special uncle” and she wanted me to know it.

After this my birthday blues seemed to fade away.

Reflection

This got me thinking though, Christ said unless we “become as a little child…etc.” and maybe here is something we can learn from them.

Hannah hand picked that card because she knew I would understand the personal meaning behind it. She wrote it privately because she wanted me to know that it was from her alone, just for me. She put in the effort of ensuring her writing was neat and she put in the thought behind the emphasis that I should know I was HER uncle. And she didn’t care if I told nobody about any of it. In truth I already knew that physically I was HER uncle (she is my only niece) but she wanted me to know that SHE knew it too. It was done for me, not for her, not for anyone else, just me.

That is what really touched me and it was that sort of thing that I realised I did so little of for MY Jesus.

• Maybe I could, and should, try to touch His heart.
• Maybe I could try to show Him that I really do appreciate the time and effort he has spent with me.
• Maybe I could try and do what would please Him rather than live as if He were a “get out of jail free” card.
• Maybe I can put in that extra effort to ensure my “personal” time with Him is not crammed between oversleeping and being late for work.
• Maybe, instead of just reading the bible I could try to understand it and see how He wants me to apply it my life.
• Above all, maybe I could do it for Him, not me, not for anyone else to see, just Him.

Maybe you could too?

Now there’s a thought.

Offered in the Love of Christ Blessings Ryan